How to show them you Love them

One of the constant struggles I have had in my situation is showing my children I love them even though I cannot be there for them all of the time. It is compounded by their mother who makes negative comments about the fact that I am not there. This is totally out of my control, and while it is maddening, there is nothing I can really do about it. So I try to move past that.
The children quickly become masters at guilt games to try and persuade you to be more active in their lives. In my case I live almost 100 miles from my children and have for almost 10 years. Try as I may, I simply cannot make all of their activities and this is a constant struggle. While I know they want me there, it is just not logistically possible most of the time. Case in point, my son plays baseball, he wants me at his games which start at 6:30 I often work until 6:00-6:30 and by the time i drive to his game it will be over. He does not understand the situation. I have learned over the time that while to him it may indicate that i do not support him or "love" him because I am not at every game, I have to find other ways of showing him. Consistency is key I believe, I never miss my scheduled weekends. In the 10 years we have done this I have asked to re-schedule no more than 4 times (each request was denied). I am always there to get them and try and spend quality time with them. -

Face it though, you can never "show" them enough, you cannot "prove" your love to them by out doing their mother, do not even get caught up in that game. Constantly getting them when you can, communicating when you can't. Telling them you love them, all of this is important.

Another issue on this topic is their age, the older they get the harder this becomes, they reach their pre-teen and teen years and there becomes less and less you can do "right". This would be true if they lived with you, but it is compounded by the distance. - Get them when you can, spend quality time with them, hang out with them and mostly establish traditions, or events that you do with them that they cannot do at their mother's. For example, my son and I have a small "wiffle ball" field in our back yard, when he comes we always play games, with his younger brother who lives with me from my second marriage. They love this time, we keep statistics, and have home run derby's, we even have a score board in the yard that we built. This is a valuable tradition that we have. Keep it going as long as possible.

If you live farther away and only see them a few times a year make sure that time is precious to you and do not give it up, get them every chance you can and make that time memorable. Not by doing "great fun" things, but just by being together. Nothing can substitute the time you have with them.