Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Keeping the Records

In my situation, where I know that my ex spouse is working diligently to alienate my children from me, one of the best pieces of advice I have received is the record keeping. While this is tedious and at times seems to be a waste of time, the detail of the records, and the extent that I keep them will one day help me to heal the relationship with my children.

It is my belief and hope that by keeping all documentation of ALL of the events, that when my children are adults I will be able to show them all of the things I did to try and strengthen my relationship with them and it was mostly convoluted with lies and innuendos. Documentation is key to all situations, if you are ever considering going back to court you will need all of the documentation you can come up with, while one event here and one event there will not convince a judge - dozens or hundreds of events will show a pattern of alienation and disregard for the court orders. In my case my ex-spouse is constantly ignoring the court orders, by not making the children available on my weekends, she is not allowing me to see them, speak to them and always schedules conflicts on my weekends. By documenting this it is my hope that in time, the court will see this behavior and make changes.

If not, at least I will have the information to show the children in due time so they can see for themselves how I have tried to be active in their lives and what walls i continued to run into.

Hang tough and document, document and document. It is for your sanity and for theirs when they see the truth.

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